But you must. Negative ideas are personal killers and they kill any idea of success for many things you would like to do. You must develop a positive attitude somehow. Each of us has the ability inside to do whatever we want or whatever we have to do. You just have to believe in yourself, that you CAN do things for yourself. Look at these examples.

A friend I recently met came through a lot of stuff and has become a remarkable person, caring, giving, and an excellent listener. After a quarter century of marriage her husband came in one day and said he did not want to be married anymore so she left. Problem was she had no job! Finding work in a new community where no one knew her took a while; but she succeeded. Just when everything seemed to be getting better she was diagnosed with a serious life-threatening illness requiring major surgery. She became so depressed she could not do anything; couldn't even get out of bed. She reached inside and got the courage to ask for help from her family after not being too close for some years. This was a real effort but she received the counseling she needed and she has risen above all the problems that plagued her for 10 years.

She looks at every day as “the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” When any sort of difficulty arises she just quits everything and sits down to sort things out. Her motto is, “the trick is not to panic!” She's always positive and upbeat even after so much trouble. Asking for help is what saved her. She believed in herself enough to save herself!

Heather Mills, soon to be the ex-Lady McCartney, ran away from a dysfunctional home in England when just 13. She was homeless for a few months and worked at odd jobs. Because of unsatisfactory job experiences she vowed never to work for another employer. She used the entrepreneurial skills within her to start several successful business ventures and she eventually ended up in modeling.

Before the civil war Heather lived in Yugoslavia and was a ski instructor. After the war started she became active in refugee affairs using her personal money to help victims of the violence. These efforts required frequent visits to England and on one of these a police motorcycle accidentally hit her causing the amputation of part of her left leg. Awful thing for anyone, particularly a model. Heather believed enough in herself and in her ability to turn tragedy into success. She called the press into her hospital room and sold her story!

These are a few instances of using your inner belief in yourself and your abilities and a positive attitude to overcome anything. Just think what can happen when you apply these ideas to your career, your family, and your personal life.

Some things most people emphasize about being positive are to avoid negative situations or leave them as soon as possible, to associate with positive people, and to develop some means of turning negative thoughts into positive ones. My own strategy is to keep a list of the most pleasant things I know of in the back of my mind. When something negative pops up I just concentrate on one of these pleasant memories. I also employ telling myself how lucky I am (repeatedly), and putting negativism in a virtual garbage bag and then throwing the whole thing out the window. All these things work with a little practice.

By: Yank Elliott, MBA

Mike Nifong, the District Attorney form Durham, NC, who shot himself in the foot trying to get re-elected, has inflicted serious injury upon himself and his family. The NC State Bar removed his license to practice law and he faces a lot of other troubles in coming months. The Judge presiding over the court where Nifong's indiscretions occurred is likely to find the former DA in criminal contempt which could result in jail time. He deserves whatever misfortune comes to him because it was all self-inflicted, the result of political greed.

Nifong saw the prosecution of the Duke Lacrosse players as a surefire way to win reelection as Durham DA by securing the large African American vote. He won the battle but was overwhelmingly defeated in the war! It's too bad nothing will probably be done to the Duke President who fired the Lacrosse coach and destroyed the team for a year, nor to the 88 self-righteous professors who paid for the ad commending those who marched against the accused players. They are just as guilty as Nifong but they will all escape the hand of justice because of legal loopholes.

In addition to possible criminal charges, Nifong should expect several civil suits as well. Think about this: three apparently well-to-do families and their three sons have been totally trashed in the media and that information is forever available to all in news archives, court records, and on the Internet. The parents have incurred millions of dollars in legal fees defending their sons and they will always be referred to as, “You know them; their sons were involved in the Duke Lacrosse rape case, accused of raping a stripper at a drunken party.” And the sons will always be thought of the same way. They will never get way from it. One of the boys now has what appears to be an excellent job in the financial community. But it is likely somewhere these spurious accusations will arise to haunt him and hinder his career, unless he decides to become his own boss. The others will encounter the same problem in their careers.

Nifong's greedy actions have caused these families untold millions of dollars in personal damages and they should sue him and Durham County for all they can get. Nifong, himself, isn't worth much (no pun intended). His only employment has been in the Durham County District Attorney's office where he currently makes $110,000. He has only been in this salary range since 2005; before that his salary was less. So he has accumulated few assets beyond his house. It is to be hoped the families' lawyers can tie the County into their suit so some money will be recovered. In any event, Mr. Nifong's financial future is in doubt.

So what can this disbarred attorney do now? The first thing he must do is admit to himself he was wrong. Even during his trial before the Bar he kept saying he still thought something had happened. And he was presumptuous enough to say he would resign on June 15th. The Judge immediately stripped him of his duties and forced him to immediately retire with no more pay. He has to get out of denial before he can think of the future.

Next, what happens after all these legal and financial problems are finished? Mr. Nifong is 57 years old and graduated Phi Beta Kappa from UNC Chapel Hill. Problem is he's never done anything but prosecute unfortunates; now he is the unfortunate. We don't know what else he can do; it's possible he will need to do something like delivering pizzas for a while. I have known several college graduates who did this as a career because they could find nothing better after graduation and most are getting along just fine. But it's a lot different from being the feared prosecutor. He'll have to do something to bring in income as soon as he can. Experience and statistics tell me he has more than legal problems to face. His family, including his wife, have stayed with him during his disbarment. That's wonderful, but often women can't handle disgrace of this magnitude very well. I don't know what his children might do; some will stick it out, others will feel betrayed by their parent. So, he may face separation or divorce, in either case losing a close confident.

Here's a plan for Mike Nifong to accomplish his personal recovery:

Reflections On The Death Of A Child

By: Yank Elliott

I can't imagine what that would be like. To have a child die must be the most tragic, depressing, and despairing thing that could possibly happen to anyone. My personal prayer is to not ever have this happen; let me go first. So there is no way for me to say, “I understand how you feel”, because I don't.

A neighbor recently experienced this kind of tragedy and just withdrew from the world that I know, left the area, took a trip, I don't know. They are in my prayers and I hope they can find some way to deal with this and once more become active and productive. This deeply disturbing event caused me to try and write about it in some positive way. It is a formidable assignment; my purpose is to see if there is something constructive and positive that can come from such a terrible event. After all, grieving parents, though not ever able to completely get over the event, must find ways to get through their grief and continue living useful and enjoyable lives.

Ways I have used successfully come to mind as a first way out of this overwhelming sorrow.
Maintaining an always positive attitude has been part of my persona for twenty years, the result of seeing this as the way out of a series of personal misfortunes. It required finding ways to quickly rid my mind of anything negative. I have been able to communicate with God and the universe, where all knowledge exists, and I make constant use of my subconscious mind by asking it to remove all the negative stuff that pounds my brain from every direction.

So my thinking is for this bereaved person, as well as other close family, to begin working on ways to overcome negative. A considerable amount of effort will be required to make these methods work, but I assure you they are well worth whatever effort they take. You must not get down on the world, on yourself, or on those around you. Using any methods you can find, constantly rid yourself of negativism and replace with positive attitudes

A few books that had a great influence on my life in times of stress are:

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, available here.

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy, available here.

The Luck Factor by Dr. Richard Wiseman, available here.

Life After Death by Deepak Chopra, available here.

I recommend all of these for sustaining positive attitudes.

There are several reasons why loss of a child is so devastating, perhaps the worst physical tragedy one is likely to experience in a lifetime. One is loss of a child is loss of the future, of hopes, dreams, companionship, friendship, of the possibility of grandchildren, and happy birthdays with glorious holidays. Another is there is no word describing a parent who loses a child such as widow for a woman losing her husband. Death of a child is disorienting to parents; children are not supposed to die, and the grieving process is lifelong. Some parents long for the hurt to stop

Parents often try to live their lives in a fuller more meaningful way. For example, parents of children who die as a result of some criminal act often start legislative or social campaigns to get regulations that may prevent future happenings of the same thing. Grief binds those who suffer together; they see each other as more alike than different.

Some parents decide to adopt a new world view, in this way sidestepping some lingering grief issues in order to continue living. This is an excellent thing to do if you can make it happen. A change in world view may enable new information bits to get through to the troubled brain. Who knows what that could do?

Grieving parents must learn to have compassion, patience, understanding, and deal gently with each other. Such a death should not have the ultimate effect of disrupting or terminating a marriage. Periods of great sadness often recur at intervals long after the death, perhaps for the rest of a parent's life. It is imperative that some defense be developed against these down-turns. Parents should also develop a group who understands their grief, though these people can never know how the parents feel. Speaking their thoughts to capable listeners is one way to muddle through this trying period.

Because grieving parents must eventually pull themselves through their grief, developing internal ways to rid the mind of negativism is absolutely necessary. I know this can be done, I have used it many times. Fortunately, none of these involved a child's death, but three times my subconscious has helped me through the bad times surrounding being told a close loved one would live no longer than a few hours; she survived each time, thankfully. Positive thinking has always pulled me through, on a daily basis; there just is no use whatever for anything negative. Listen to the negative, see what actions you need to take, if any, and quickly rid your mind of the remaining negative ideas.

Here are some positive things that may come from the death of a child: